2 Weigh ins in 1!

Last Sunday, the Hahns packed up and made the 9+ hour drive to Las Vegas to vacation and visit with family. After 5 nights at Green Valley Ranch, a night of adventure with Tournament of Kings, a strange evening with Steel Panther, and too much time spent gambling, we headed home on Saturday night.

Before we left, I weighted myself a day early on Sunday since I wouldn't have a scale with me Monday (Funny enough, our hotel room DID have a scale in it, even though it was broken! Only in Vegas!!). Last week, 2 pounds lost! I was very excited and a little surprised. See, my best friend came to visit and I only really worked out 4 days that week. I was worried that would make me lose less or not at all.

So we get home early Sunday morning, and I literally walk in and go weigh myself (Hey, I hadn't done it in a week!!). I had fretted all week about my eating. Before we left, I told myself I wasn't going to count points but would instead use my new food knowledge and make "smart" choices. I slipped up a little (pizza!) but I think overall, I used what I know and ate out sensibly. I also didn't work out AT ALL this past week. I had grand plans of going to the hotel work out room every day and walking at least 30 minutes. Never happened. Oh well, I thought. I was going to accept whatever the scale had to say this week because I knew it wasn't going to be typical and that I wasn't going to let this week derail what I had worked for so far.

Today's weigh in: 2.5 pounds down! I think it's funny that when I record my weight, it tells me that I'm "losing too fast". Ha! Well, another week here I come! Back to working out, counting points, and measuring everything.

Till next time...

This week's events...

The past few days have proven to be quite a roller coaster for me. I've been up and down, mood wise. I've been craving things that I thought I was over, and I have been more tired than usual. On the positive side, water aerobics has gotten even more awesome. Our (cute) new instructor is a power house! He definitely rivals Jillian and I'm glad for that since I've started to alternate between the two of them.

I also have had a lot of fun rediscovering my closet. I've held on to a lot of clothes that I probably should have gotten rid of a long time ago and I've bought clothes that I never wore because once I got home I realized I didn't like how they looked on me. Now, it's like my old clothes are new again! I'm very excited about this. Not so exciting, spending $30 on a new pair of jeans because I literally had no more to fit into, only to discover a long lost pair that fits again! Oh well, now I've got two!

Off to finish cleaning my house before my BFF (and companion on this weight loss journey), Anna Brown comes to visit tomorrow! A fun-filled few days ahead with a trip to the State Fair and the Oakland Zoo. And a few water aerobics thrown in!

Till next time...

Here comes another week!

Weigh in day = 3.5 pounds lost!

I gotta tell you, I was a little nervous last night! I had the late night munchies, which I get most nights. However, since I didn't work out yesterday, I didn't have those extra points that I normally have when the urge hits!

Back to working out today, either Shred or water aerobics. It definitely felt weird not working out yesterday. Like I said, I don't like to do it, but I did kind of miss it. Who'd have thought I'd become an "exercise junkie" when I started all this?!

Till next time...

Day 30...now what?!

Yesterday was my 30th day doing the 30 Day Shred! I've never worked out that many days in a row EVER. Let's be honest though...I don't love it or even like it. I don't wake up and crave exercise because it makes me feel great. It's still a struggle to do it. But I did it!

And today, on day 31, I'm taking a much deserved BREAK! Unless I get some overwhelming desire to do it, today I'm going to skip working out. On that same note, now that I am done with my inital 30 days, I'm going to be alternating my Shred videos with water aerobics. The few days I did both were HARD! So 3 days a week will be water aerobics, and the other 4 will be Shred level 2. There are some other Jilian Michael's DVDs I'd like to try but I haven't really gotten bored with this one yet so I'll keep at it!

Weigh in day tomorrow, and of the days I've weighed this week (read: all of them), I've stayed consistantly down. Here's hoping to stay that way till tomorrow and beyond!!

Till next time...

Disappointment on the Scale

Well today, as you may remember, is weigh in day. And after what I will call a more challenging week, I gained a pound.

This past week I found myself craving more snacks. I never went off the rails and over indulged, but I definitely made some less healthy choices that most likely contributed to the gain. I went to Starbucks 3 times this week. Waaaaaaay too much, even though, again, I stayed on track points wise. The 4-8 points I spent on different varieties of frappuccino could have been spent on much smarter choices. So I learned a lesson there for sure.

While I may not have lost this week, I still feel accomplished in other ways. In addition to the 30 Day Shred (Sunday was Day 24!), I went to water aerobics at the Aquatic Center 3 times, with plans to continue that pace! I really enjoyed it, and it was a major workout! I also moved up to level 2 of the 30 Day Shred on Saturday. I was shocked at how well I did on it!! If you would have told me a year ago that I'd be working out everyday (and sometimes two times a day!) without fail, I'd think you were on crack. I can't believe the changes I've made.

On a side note, my husband has also been doing great. He went from easily drinking a 2 liter of soda a day to quitting cold turkey! I'm very impressed and proud!

So, even though the scale didn't agree with me this week, I'll just have to learn from it and keep on moving along! This week my plan is to make a goal reward list for when I reach certain goals. I'll be sure to post it when I finish it!

Till next time...

Another week, another weigh in...

...another 2 pounds lost!

I think about my 2 pound hand weights I use when I do my 30 Day Shred. One of them just "fell off" my body this week. Craziness, I tell you.

Short and sweet today!

Til next time...

Why it Sucks to be Fat...

I was thinking today about what is the worst part of losing weight. You might ask "Uh, what could be bad about losing weight?!". Sure, I hate exercising (although one day I'm sure I'll learn to *love* it) and having to weigh and measure everything you put in your mouth can be tedious. But neither of those things really make me feel like quitting quite like one thing in particular.

When you are fat like me, it takes some time to look "unfat" to people. So while I'm celebrating some small loss or the fact that I didn't eat any of the cupcakes I just made or that I chose to have veggies instead of potatoes, someone who sees me walking in the grocery store or at the mall still sees me as obsese. And they will for awhile. And I can't fault them; I am obsese. This can be very discouraging. It can make me feel like "What's the point?" sometimes. I realize this journey has to be for me, but I think we are wired to care what people think. No matter how hard we try to deny it. Our feelings get hurt when we are called fat. We cry when we realize people are talking about us and laughin. We feel embarassed when we go out to eat, even if it's for something healthy.

I think it will take me a little time to build up a thicker skin because I have lived with a very low self image for so long. And I'll keep fighting the good fight in an effort to one day not have to worry who people think I am based on my size.

Till tomorrow--weigh in day....

Disappointment...

That's how I'm feeling today, at least. I guess you could say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. All day it's been a mix of ups and downs, all coming to a head with a complete breakdown about 8 minutes into my workout. I felt like I physically couldn't do it. I couldn't get my head into it. I'm not going to bed yet, so there is still a chance for me to finish, but I'm not sure I see Day 14 happening today.

I really need to stop weighing myself every day (read: multiple times a day). Maybe I need to put the scale away until Monday rolls around so I won't constantly check it. It's so discouraging to see the same numbers day after day. I have been working so hard and I feel like I'm never going to reach the end. I can't think of many things I've finished in my life. I never got a degree (heck, I didn't even finish junior college). I don't have a job (not to mention the last one I had didn't even think I was good enough to keep around). I don't ever stick to things, as is evident by my current size. I know I want to finish this; I'm just unsure sometimes if I can.

Maybe I'll re-read this in a few minutes and decide that I really should get back in there and say "It's only 20 minutes of my life". Or maybe I'll end up disappointing myself and my family and just go to bed early. I know it's up to me to make the decision and it's up to me to accept whatever the outcome is for actions. Let's see what happens...

It's That Time Again!

3 more pounds down!! That's 11 pounds lost altogether!

Phew! I was a little worried about this weigh in. I indulged in a few things this week. Even though I stayed within my points, I was still worried I was doing something "wrong".

Before, when I had done Weight Watchers back in 2002, I would try to eat the same things I always did and just kind of fit them into my points allotment (for example, I still ate my share of McDonald's, by way of Happy Meals). This time, I have learned to make much better choices and use my points for things of more healthy substance (such as eggs, beans, lean meats, whole wheat carbs, etc). On top of that, my fruit and veggie amount is way up and I feel great about that too!!

On another note, I'm officially a third of the way through my 30 Day Shred challenge (and today being day 11)!! If you saw my Facebook post you know that, to my surprise, the free on demand version ended yesterday and I didn't know this until I was ready to work out at 8pm! Fortunately my husband ran to Target and got the full DVD. Oh goody, now I have levels 2 and 3...! My stamina has improved a ton and it's pretty cool to watch myself finish sections that I couldn't a day or two before.

Till next time...



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Change in my life...

This song, eloquently covered by my favorite band, has been playing in my head a lot over the last couple days.

"There's a change in my life since you came along"

As odd as it may sound, I think the person who came along and brought that change was me. I am the only one who can make any changes and who can decide whether or not change can happen. And I choose change, for good.

So something happened today that I wasn't expecting. I went to get dressed to run some errands, and the notch on my belt that I've been at for about the life of the belt was suddenly too loose. I thought, no way. But I went to one tighter, and it fit! AND I could still breathe! AND it made me feel like my shorts were too big! I'm still in shock.

Sometimes it is hard to celebrate small goals like that, but tonight, I think I'll have a 2 point ice cream bar to commemorate! It's the small goals that add up! One day at a time...

It's only 20 minutes of my life...

Whenever I have tried to "lose weight" before, I have always struggled with exercise. I hate sweating (and I do it a lot!). I hate being out of breath. I hate being sore for days after.

This is another reason why I feel that this time is different. My outlook has somehow, unconsciously, changed from focusing on the things I hate to saying to myself "It's only 20 minutes of my life!" and as my friend Carrie Poppy put it, those 20 minutes could add far than 20 minutes to my life. So true, so true...

So I'm 1/6th of the way through my 30 days in the 30 Day Shred. Part of me is discouraged when doing it when I still can't finish the jumprope/jumping jacks section or the last set or abs (those bicycles are killer!). I just have to keep encouraging myself that it's a marathon and not a sprint, and eventually I'll get there. On a positive note, I woke up today and was NOT sore for the first day of doing this! This was a delightful surprise!

Till next time, folks!

Weigh in Day and a few days prior...

2 pounds down! Still going strong and losing it at the pace I should! It's hard for me not to pay attention to the numbers. I do admit to cheating during the week and peeking at the scale, but the only number I care about is the one on Monday. And even then, I'm trying to not focus on it!

The last few days I've been doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. It's a 20 minute work out that's the equilvalent of an hour plus at the gym. It's crazy tough, but crazy good. The first day, I was literally crying while I was working out. I couldn't wash my hair afterwards because I couldn't lift my hand to the top of my head. Yeah, it was rough! Day 2, there were no tears, but there was a lot of yelling and groaning (ask my husband, he witnessed it. lol!). Yesterday was day 3, and I'm amazed at how much easier it's getting. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy! Just a little easier each day is fine by me.

That's all for now. I might be back later if the mood hits, but for not, I'm off to eat my new obsession: greek yogurt with honey and granola. So good!

Here we go...

Since I tend to post on Facebook so much about my new lifestyle change (and subsequent weight loss from it), I figured a blog may be in order so that I can go a little more in depth. So here goes...!

Today, as I was finishing the dishes, starting the laundry, picking up the bathroom, and hanging various pictures up in my daughter's room, it hit me. I feel much more like a "stay at home mom" now, rather than an "unemployed hotel employee". The energy that eating better and drinking water (no soda or sweet tea for 12 days!) has given me makes me feel much more alive around my house.

This, in turn, makes me feel less guilty too. You see, when I lost my job nearly 2 years ago to the day, I almost instantly felt guilt; guilt that has only gotten worse since then. I've thought about the burden I have put on my husband to be the "bread winner". I've thought about the perception that my choice not to go back to work may be considereed lazy. I think there is no way around feeling a little guilty about it all. And as my last unemployment check makes its way to my house next week, I'm actually starting to feel that guilt lifted a little bit, strangely enough. And I give all the credit to this new way of living.

In future posts, I'll talk about my addiction to fast food (and why I truly feel it is/has been an addiction), my lack of cooking skills that somehow get me through the day now, and all the other fun things that come from making this huge change in my life and the lives of my family. My weigh in day is Monday, so look for a post about those results then! I've been very encouraged by all the kind words I've received on Facebook and beyond. They make my heart swell. I hope my words can do the same for some of you!