I was thinking today about what is the worst part of losing weight. You might ask "Uh, what could be bad about losing weight?!". Sure, I hate exercising (although one day I'm sure I'll learn to *love* it) and having to weigh and measure everything you put in your mouth can be tedious. But neither of those things really make me feel like quitting quite like one thing in particular.
When you are fat like me, it takes some time to look "unfat" to people. So while I'm celebrating some small loss or the fact that I didn't eat any of the cupcakes I just made or that I chose to have veggies instead of potatoes, someone who sees me walking in the grocery store or at the mall still sees me as obsese. And they will for awhile. And I can't fault them; I am obsese. This can be very discouraging. It can make me feel like "What's the point?" sometimes. I realize this journey has to be for me, but I think we are wired to care what people think. No matter how hard we try to deny it. Our feelings get hurt when we are called fat. We cry when we realize people are talking about us and laughin. We feel embarassed when we go out to eat, even if it's for something healthy.
I think it will take me a little time to build up a thicker skin because I have lived with a very low self image for so long. And I'll keep fighting the good fight in an effort to one day not have to worry who people think I am based on my size.
Till tomorrow--weigh in day....
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